Friday, February 6, 2009

Get Naked! (Suburban Dreams)

My mum has recently become my Sex Bestfriend. We have fantastic conversations, whilst in my paddling pool, drinking Iced Coffees, about guys, sex, parties and other things like that.
Excusing the fact my mum hasn't had sex in over ten years, she fills me in on all her wild sex romps before her last Husband, before my Dad.
My mums had 3 (Dad, being the last failed relationship.)
I'm blaming my terrible relationship skills on my Mum, and that our number of failed relationships are simply, her fault.
Its heriditary, ok?

My aunty has also gotten in on our little Women's Club, and joins us in the pool. Its great to know that my mum, her cousin and myself are both failures of women kind.
The fact that my mum has had three marriages, all resulting in divorce, and that Jan, after two, is undeniably the cause to my constant relationship fails.

Let me just say, to begin with, I have a family of former 24 Hour Party People. They have reformed, and are living the suburban dream.
back in the day, Mum and Jan would party their little hearts out, fucked up on a lot of things, have two horus sleep and work the following morning.
At least I know where I get my party endurance from.

Jan joins Mum and I in the pool, midconversation, about how girls these days are so conscious of getting their kit off.
Jan and I, self-confessed nude sunbathers, endure lots of lols at these kinds of girls.
Whilst every person has issues with their body in some shaape or form, I try to ignore them to the best of my ability. I know I have jiggly bits, but I can't exactly get rid of them unless I want to pay something like $15,000 to rid myself of them.
In my own company, getting naked is hilarious fun.
I can wiggle my boobs around without anyone going "Oh gee, I never knew Amy had wobbly bits there."

The conversation continues.
"I enjoy being naked," I say casually, handing Jan my cigarette. "but somtimes during sex, I just get lazy. I'm just like, Totz cannot be fagged taking off my clothes right now."
Jan agrees with me, slightly distracted by the diminishing of my vocabulary. "I just don't know why girls dont want to get naked more often."
"I know," I reply. "As if a guy doesn't love some girl, sprawled on her bed, arse naked."
Jan stares at me.
"I wish I was still having sex."
Her husband and Her are going through a heavy time.
Shit hit the fan about three, maybe four months ago. They're seeing a marriage councellor: Mum and I are hoping they'll come out of it ok.

The point of this blog, is basically how much I enjoy getting naked, especially around certain people. Whilst I'm still protective of my body, as enough to cover it up sometimes, I still like to praise myself on my skinny waist, and rounded arse.
I love knowing that I didn't inherit my mother's flat behind.

Love your bodys.
If you hate them now, just keep in mind:

That shit sags within the next twenty years.
Live it up.