Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Your Clothes Are Just So Passe`.

Australia, in general, needs a universal air-conditioner.

Its 34 degrees outside, and beads of sweet are coming off of everyone, everywhere.
I mean, I live like a block away from the beach, and I'd be there if it weren't so fucking hot. It's gotten to the point where even my hair is making me feel hot.

I went for a little wander down past the boat ramp after I'd fed the horses. I seen a girl walking with her dog.
No, that's her boyfriend rolling around in the sand, making noises.
She was pudgy, and had a bikini that was way too small for her. It pushed her tits up to her chin, and you could see the sides of her boobs jiggling around like fatty overflow.
And her shorts were hideous.
They were canary yellow with two disgusting orange stripes down the side.
No one ever told this girl that Yellow and Brown were never a good combination.
Her bikini was brown.
Brown belongs in one place - the toilet.
Unless its a belt, then its nice. Or shoes.
She looked like a seal in a banana costume.
It was shocking.

I mean, I was on the beach with my school dress hitched up, but this girl just looked ridiculous. And her boyfriend was no better.
I wouldn't have touched him with a ten-foot-pole.
And anyone who takes their partner out and lets him wrestle with sea urchins in the sand, needs to put him on a leash and feed him some kibble.

This guy had really short hair, and too much chest hair. I like chest hair, don't get me wrong, but no so much that if I shaved it off, I could make myself a new carpet.
However, it would stink worse than wet dog and if I dropped my cigarette on it, Vietnam would smel even more putrid than what it already does.
Do keep in mind, My bunnies live in close proximity to my sliding door, so the Bunny smell goes through Vietnam on a hot day.

He was really pale too.
So pale, that I swear I could see his veins getting sunburnt.

On a better note, Mum bought a twenty dollar toddlers pool today.
It came with little blow up sea creatures.
My favourite is the purple octopus. There's a dolphin, but he reminds me of a pedophile.